Love you more

Last weekend I had the opportunity to attend a Spring Equinox Healing gathering at a local yoga studio in my area. It was touted as part yoga, part intention setting, and part sound bath, all for the purposes of generating new ideas and creativity for the season. The two women taking the group through the afternoon’s activity were new to me, and I was excited to open myself up to something new.

What is a sound bath?

If you haven’t experienced a sound bath, here is a quick definition for you:
A sound bath is a meditative experience where those in attendance are “bathed” in sound waves. These waves are produced by various sources, including healing instruments such as gongs, singing bowls, percussion, chimes, rattles, tuning forks, and even the human voice itself.

Connecting on a deeper level

On the morning of the event, I did a deep meditation wherein I connected with the spirit of my cousin, Kelly. Kelly passed away tragically in 2016 and was my absolute twin flame. We were incredibly close throughout our lives, being only a couple of months to the day apart in age, and losing her nearly broke me (and so many around us). Since her passing, I have had a number of visits from her in a variety of forms, and it brings me peace every time we connect.

I often find myself telling her that I will bring her with me to things- like I don’t want her to miss out on anything. During my meditation, I found myself connecting with that image of us doing something together, so much so that I brought an eagle feather to the gathering that we had found on a hike together years ago. I asked her to join me and share in the circle. I knew it was something she would enjoy. Plus, being this was a new experience for me, I wanted my wing-woman with me!

Warm and fuzzy

The healing circle event was amazing. The altar was inspiring and the energy in the room was beautiful and powerful. I brought my journal to take the time to write my feelings and intentions into it. As we did yoga, I felt awareness and alignment of my body to the Universe.

But it was the sound bath that gave me the most incredible moment of powerful realization.

As the practitioner, Danica, took us through an almost one-hour sound bath, the vibrations of the bowls and chimes reverberated to my core and I felt such deep relaxation and ease that when it was over, the whole thing felt like it took 5 minutes, not 50. As my breathing slowed and my relaxation increased, I was quickly aware of a voice inside my soul speaking to me. It was Kelly. The timbre of her voice fell in unison with the audible vibrations and resonance of the bowls. Under my blanket, my body was humming along to the vibrations. I felt safe, warm, and light. I felt the most connected to myself that I had felt in a long time. To say it was powerful is an understatement.

While I was writing my intentions earlier, I asked for guidance on my spiritual path to help others. I asked for clarity on what my work and purpose were really about. I wanted a deeper meaning to show itself so that I could lean into what mattered most for me as a lightworker. I asked for support in giving my clients exactly what they need to lean into their most purposeful lives.

I got what I asked for.

During the sound bath, as Kelly appeared to me in voice and soul, I was reminded of how we communicated when she was here.

We would end every call like this:

One of us would say, “I love you.” The other would respond with, “Love you more.” It became our thing. We signed every card with “Love you more.” We would rush to say those three words first and fight over who got to say them. After she died, the grief was so intense that hearing anyone say those words would push me over the edge into sobs and tears. It took a long time for me to acknowledge them again and for the longest while, I couldn’t say them out loud.

A present in the shadows

Last year, when I was on a trip, I found these wooden postcards in a shop. I bought two before I could even stop myself and placed one on my desk in my office.

Back to the message I received during the sound bath, as the vibrations perforated my cells, I heard Kelly’s voice say those three words, “Love you more.” But what I heard was new and fresh and vital. What she said was, “Love YOU more,” with the emphasis on the “you”. As she said it, I knew that the most powerful thing we can do is to love ourselves fiercely, to give ourselves the love we have long overgiven to others and that the more we provide this type of intentional nourishment to ourselves, the more we can do for others and for the entire planet as a collective.

As I came out of the sound bath experience, I have experienced a hyper-awareness of self-care. I have also brought this to my client work this past week with great feedback as I ask my clients to incorporate more moments of “me” time- however that shows up.

We are in a wild time of uncertainty and fear. Of course, it’s critical to ensure you are taking the best care of yourself you can. Isn’t it time for you to “love YOU more?”

I would love to hear from you about the practices you have incorporated into your life to ensure that you receive the best nourishment and love possible.

Thank you for reading. Namaste. xo

Special thanks to The Heart Center for Awakening, Danica at Green Door Sound Bath, and Indigo Phoenix (Yoga Teacher).