Why Women Compete Instead of Collaborate—And How We Can Change It

I’ll be honest—I’ve caught myself feeling competitive with my own colleagues. Even my own clients.

It’s a hard thing to admit, but it’s real.

Not long ago, I found myself scrolling through a client’s Instagram, watching her business take off, her offers sell out, and her confidence shine. Instead of celebrating her, my stomach tightened.

What if she surpasses me? What if people choose her over me? What if I become irrelevant?

It was a gut punch. Because I love this client. I believe in her work. And yet, in that moment, I felt like I was losing something just because she was winning.

Where did that come from?

The Competition Culture We Inherited

The truth is, competition has been embedded into our bones. We’ve been taught that there’s only so much success to go around. That power is a scarce resource. That there’s only one seat at the table for a woman like us.

This isn’t accidental—it’s the way the system was built.

Patriarchy thrives when women are divided. When we see each other as threats instead of allies. When we hesitate to share opportunities, contacts, resources—because deep down, we fear there won’t be enough left for us.

But here’s the truth that scarcity doesn’t want us to see:

The more we uplift each other, the more we all rise.

Now More Than Ever, We Need Each Other

Right now, the world feels heavy.

So many women I know—clients, colleagues, friends—are struggling with deep anxiety, self-doubt, and exhaustion. The pressure to keep up, to prove ourselves, to hold it all together is at an all-time high.

And when we’re operating from that level of stress, fear creeps in.

Fear that we’re not doing enough.
Fear that we’re falling behind.
Fear that we’re losing momentum, losing relevance, losing our place.

And fear breeds competition.

But let’s be clear: Fear is a liar.

Fear will tell you that you have to do it alone.
Fear will tell you that no one will help you.
Fear will tell you that another woman’s success means your failure.

But community? Community tells a different story.

Building Community Over Competition is Our Superpower

If we want to be truly resilient in this difficult time, we have to lean into each other—not away.

• We need to reach out, not retreat. Send the text. Make the call. Check in. Don’t wait until things get easier—support each other now.
• We need to share more, not hoard. Share opportunities. Share resources. Share wisdom. Trust that what is meant for you will not pass you by.
• We need to lift each other up, not size each other up. Hype up another woman’s work. Celebrate her wins—out loud. Show her (and yourself) that success isn’t a zero-sum game.

Because here’s the thing: when women come together, we don’t just survive—we thrive.

How We Can Start Today

Changing this culture of competition doesn’t take grand gestures. It starts with small, consistent acts of community-building:

• Hype another woman’s work publicly—comment, share, recommend. It takes seconds, but the impact is huge.
• Make introductions—connect women who can help each other grow. Open doors that you have access to.
• Be real about your struggles—it gives others permission to be honest, too. Vulnerability builds trust.
• Offer help without expecting anything in return—because generosity always comes back around.
• Speak up when you see another woman being dismissed, overlooked, or undervalued. Your voice has power. Use it.

Because at the end of the day, we are so much stronger together.

That client I mentioned earlier? The one I felt competitive with? Instead of shrinking into that fear, I chose to celebrate her. I sent her a voice memo telling her how amazing she is. We ended up collaborating on a project that helped both of us grow.

And that moment was a turning point for me.

A reminder that the world doesn’t need more women competing. The world needs more women linking arms and rising together.

Let’s Connect and Rise Together

If this resonates with you—if you’ve felt the pressure of competition and want something different—let’s connect.

I’m here for real, honest conversations about business, life, and the emotional rollercoaster of entrepreneurship. Let’s brainstorm, collaborate, share ideas, support each other, and build something that lasts.

Because I truly believe this: When women come together, we create a force that is unstoppable.

Drop a comment, send me a message, or let’s set up a time to talk. You are not alone in this, whether it’s commiseration, celebration, or creative collaboration. And you don’t have to do it alone, either.